One Jewish Dyke

March 7, 2007

seeing ourselves

Filed under: body issues, other blogs, pop culture — by onejewishdyke @ 1:18 am

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

A year or two ago I first played around with yahoo avatars. I discovered that there was no female hockey player, got bored, and gave up. After noticing Trinity’s avatar on her blog, I thought I’d look again. Sure enough, yahoo figured out that women play sports too, and there was a hockey player option. Two, actually. I could put my character in the green and blue uniform above, or have one that advertises a car company. Lots of hockey teams have corporate sponsors. It’s not out of the realm of possibility. No goalie, but I wasn’t all that troubled. I used to be a defenseman and on occasion I still skate out. I haven’t this year, but I’m sure the opportunity will arise again someday.

The only thing is, she doesn’t really look like me. I was able to replicate my messy chin-length brown hair, my pale skin, my brown eyes, and even my glasses. But not my body type. Not at all. I’m sturdy. I’m not a speedy little center. When I’m a skater, my job is usually to move that little speedy one from in front of the net, or cut off her angle so she can’t get a good shot at the net while she is skating in. My first defensive partner and I had the perfect system. I would take the opposing forward out of the play by getting my body in her way. My partner Allison was a speedy, skinny girl and her job was to take the puck and skate it out of the zone or pass it up to our forwards. If I changed the hair color and the features on the avatar on the left, she might look a little like Allison.

I also noticed that Storm Indigo has a yahoo avatar on her blog, and hers doesn’t look impossibly thin like either Trinity’s or my hockey avatar do. So I searched for “size” on the avatars site, figuring that there must be a way to make my avatar look like she finished her lunch. After all, I can adjust the model on the LL Bean site based on my real measurements, and I really know what clothes will look like before I buy them. The LL Bean model looks so much like me that I was a little embarassed to show a male colleague how the site works, because I felt like it was a real picture of me in my underwear that I was showing him. I clicked on the first outfit I saw so that I could dress her and I wouldn’t feel so exposed!

Well, yahoo avatars does recognize that we do not all weigh 110 pounds. What it does not recognize is that women come in more than two sizes, and that women who fit into its “plus size” category might want to wear things other than a few basic outfits. It’s like going shopping and finding that the plus size department is a dark corner with a few dresses tossed on a rack while the rest of the store has clothing of every style and color imaginable.

The avatar on the right is the plus sized choice. First of all, she hardly looks plus-sized. She just looks like she’s not starving herself to fit in her prom dress or make weight for her wrestling match. Her body type is a lot more like mine, and I am not very big. I fall within the size range of 4-16 that one can buy in a regular clothing store and not have to go to Lane Bryant. I find my size in and of itself value-neutral, but it’s a lot easier to buy clothing now than it was when I was heavier even though I still have trouble because I’m only five feet tall and even petite sizes are made for women several inches taller than I am. The BMI index says I’m overweight, but I refuse to put too much stock in a number since I’m healthy and active.

I’m disappointed for my heavier sisters that they don’t get a likeness at yahoo, but even more irritating for me personally is that there are only a few outfits for the “plus sized” avatar, and they come as entire outfits. Where the smaller girls get to mix and match tops and bottoms, dress for clubbing, sports, or bedtime, those of us who don’t want to pretend that we have no hips have an extremely limited wardrobe option. We get a few skirt suits, a few summer dresses, and a handful of causal outfits. None of them were my style at all. Kind of reminds me of shopping in a store, actually.

One of the things I like appreciate about being a female hockey player right now and not a few decades ago is that manufacturers have started to recognize that women play hockey, that our bodies are shaped differently from men’s, and that women of all sizes play hockey. I wear junior (boys) sized gloves, skates, and helmet, because my hands, feet, and head are the size of a young boy’s. But unlike a decade ago, equipment manufacturers now realize that we women, with our breasts and hips, need gear made for us. I can buy women’s large pants and they fit me correctly everywhere. Same with my shoulder pad/chest protector.

In a regular store it’s hard to be acknowledged as a normal size. The Gap curvy jeans fit me, but I have to order them specially online because apparently women of my size don’t shop in the store. The LL Bean store carries a few items in petite length, but mostly I have to order anything with a 28-inch inseam through the catalog.

But in a store, it makes sense. Space is limited and only the most common sizes, the most likely to sell, will get onto the rack. Or at least it make sense would if the stores were following actual logic. The average American woman wears a size 12/14, but it’s hard to find clothing much above these sizes in most stores in the mall. Apparently only average women and smaller are supposed to shop. There are special stores for women who wear a 14 or larger, and if you want any kind of variety, quality, or uniqueness you have to buy your clothing online. On yahoo avatars, it makes no sense. It’s not like the company will waste money, like when clothing goes unpurchased if it is made in sizes that women don’t wear or buy. It’s a freaking drawing. If yahoo can provide hundreds of backgrounds, accessories, and outfits, how much more difficult is it to make those various outfits fit people in sizes other than Demi Moore or Drew Barrymore?

Or does yahoo think that women who weigh more than the above actors are bothered by their likenesses and don’t want to see them? We live in a fat-hating society and many women have internalized the message that looking like you asked to see the the dessert menu instead of having cottage cheese and water is the worst thing that could happen to a person. But for those of us who like the way we look at any size, could we please have the option to see ourselves?

8 Comments »

  1. Wednesday Morning Newspaper

    I always enjoy Rosa Sparx graphics over at Insultadarity.
    Ginmar:  Youre not my sister if you suck up to the patriarchy at my expense or the expense of other women
    I’m sorry, I kind of want a refund if I have to accept as sisters women who de…

    Trackback by Women's Space/The Margins — March 7, 2007 @ 12:44 pm

  2. That “plus-sized” avatar doesn’t look plus-sized at all! Ugh. It’s like how people call the girls on the new Dove ads “fat.”
    I’m also 5 feet tall.. barely. Shopping for pants used to be the most troublesome, tiring experience ever! I’ve started just buying whatever pants look best (not considering length) and getting them taylored.

    Comment by Jessica Dreadful — March 8, 2007 @ 1:46 am

  3. […] blogger “One Jewish Dyke” writes that not only is this the largest female avatar available at Yahoo, but that if you choose it, your […]

    Pingback by Feminist Law Professors » Blog Archive » Does The Yahoo Avatar Pictured Below Look “Plus Sized” To You? — March 8, 2007 @ 9:12 am

  4. I have to get everything tailored too, but I find that my build makes anything but petite pants just look funny on me. I forget if it’s called short-waisted or long-waisted or what. I even have to get petite pants tailored, unless they’re jeans, and sometimes even then. Petites often hae a 28.5 or 29-inch inseam, and I really need a 26.5 or 27. I can get away with 28 in jeans, but not dress pants since I won’t wear heels.

    Comment by onejewishdyke — March 8, 2007 @ 12:40 pm

  5. Oh but you are forgetting the “standard” we’re measured up to–you know, the one that says that all women are either thin, or.. nonexistent.

    It’s sick that yahoo is perpetuating that ridiculous idea.

    Comment by Ana Casian Lakos — March 18, 2007 @ 11:51 pm

  6. […] One Jewish Dyke goes in search of a Yahoo avatar that looks like her - and finds the selection of body types sorely lacking. But at least they expanded the line of outfits for our virtual selves to include hockey gear. […]

    Pingback by 35th Carnival of Feminists « The Blog and the Bullet — April 5, 2007 @ 8:54 pm

  7. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

    Comment by Idetrorce — December 15, 2007 @ 7:11 am

  8. I want my real size avatar too

    Comment by Plus Sized — February 1, 2008 @ 4:22 am

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