Dear Internet, Am I the Asshole?

Joseph Reagle

2025-11-14

Dear Internet, Am I the Asshole?

The Advice Genre in the Digital Age

Joseph Reagle

Follow along at https://reagle.org/talk.

My project’s origins

1. Comparing old & new

1771

Detail of the exhibition “Print Wikipedia” by Michael Mandiberg, Berlin.

Denis Diderot

Louis-Michel van Loo: Portrait of Denis Diderot (1767). Louvre.

This is a work that cannot be completed except by a society of men of letters and skilled workmen, each working separately on his own part, but all bound together solely by their zeal for the best interests of the human race and a feeling of mutual good will (Diderot 1755/2001, p. 283).

H.G. Wells

Portrait of Herbert George Wells from 1920

There is no practical obstacle whatever now to the creation of an efficient index to all human knowledge, ideas and achievements, to the creation, that is, of a complete planetary memory for all mankind… [It] will supply the humanity of the days before us, with a common understanding and the conception of a common purpose and of a commonweal such as now we hardly dare dream of. And its creation is a way to world peace… (Wells 1937).

Jimmy Wales

Jimmy Wales in March 2023

Our mission is to give freely the sum of the world’s knowledge to every single person on the planet in the language of their choice, under a free license, so that they can modify, adapt, reuse, or redistribute it, at will. And, by “every single person on the planet,” I mean exactly that, so we have to remember that much of our target audience is not yet able to access the Internet reliably, if at all. (Wales 2004)

Wikipedia’s novelty

2010

It was not wiki technology and the “wisdom of crowds” that make it succeed.

Wikipedia’s success was the result of a good faith collaborative culture.

2. Miss Manners

1986
1996

Social ethics & pragmatics

I make a distinction between manners and etiquette: manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal; etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures (MartinChilds 2011).

The advice genre & Reddit

1691
2025

A wedding conundrum

The thing is I’m not going to be wearing a white bridal dress, I’ll be wearing a traditional red dress… so even if my MIL does wear a white wedding dress it’s not like it’ll be the same?? (ConfusedBride 2342)

Marie Manning’s 1898 debut as Beatrice Fairfax (“She will advise you on the troubles of your HEART”) in William Randolph Hearst’s New York Evening Journal launched the lovelorn genre, which featured pseudonymous women counseling anonymous readers who were variously Confused, Baffled, Frustrated, Angry, and Desperate (Lutes 2019, p. 60)

A family affair

Expertise

Traditional columnists might…

  • avoid certain topics (law and health)
  • consult experts (Ann Landers’s practice)
  • claim expertise themselves (fraught)

Advice subs

/jmreagle proof

Hoaxes

Syndication

What happens next